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Tips on Handling Addictions
WARNING: Folks with a history of mental illness, trauma, or panic are urged not to use these techniques without a trained energy therapist. If you decide to do these processes you will agree to absolve the webmaster, his server, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of these processes. Although there are many safety features built into these processes and they have been tested and evaluated, there is always in any process the fraction of possibility that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.
Prior to discussing alcohol and drug challenges, let's focus on
addiction. Addiction is a state of being physically or psychologically
dependent on activities, people, or substances. Dependency may encompass
alcohol, drugs, exercise, gambling, people, overeating, overspending, and
work. Addiction to alcohol and drugs implies an increased tolerance to a
substance: physical and psychological dependence; and withdrawal cues when
we no longer abuse the substance.
Even though large numbers of people overcome their addictions with
minimal support or by themselves, it is easier for many folks to handle this
difficult challenge with counseling and support groups. Folks, strongly
compelled to alcohol and drugs face stiff emotional and behavioral hurdles
along with the dependency itself. Very frequently people with an addiction
will meet the common problem of denial or the belief they really do not have
an addiction. Because of the very human tendency to down ourselves for
unpopular behavior, addicted folks will lack awareness of their behavior and
its effects on the people around them.
Addiction to alcohol and drugs frequently requires detoxification under
medical supervision to avoid health problems and seizures.
The two major reasons why people abuse alcohol and drugs are to block
feelings or to just plain feel good. When handling addictive behavior, it
is wise to look for new behaviors that will lead to a complete emotional
life or more good feelings in the long term. People often develop new
interests to replace addictive behaviors.
People with a strong attraction to alcohol and drugs often hold some of
these common self-defeating beliefs: (1) I need substances to feel good or
to block emotional pain. (2) I can't stand frustration, pain, or my
negative emotions. (3) I deserve to feel good, get high, or block pain.
(4)I can't help my behavior. (5) Other people or events cause my feelings,
hence my addiction. (6) I'm no good, a reject, or a failure. (7) I'm not
addicted--I can control my substance use and handle any problem. And many
other addictive beliefs.
It is important to understand that no biological or genetic mechanisms
have been identified that account for ALL addictive behaviors. Addiction is
a compulsive behavior and not a progressive disease. Studies clearly
demonstrate most folks quit addictions on their own or trade them for more
rewarding and less compulsive behaviors. Addiction is an unconscious way of
coping with emotions. To overcome this challenge requires commitment,
self-awareness, emotional retraining, creativity, new perspectives, coping
and mastery skills, and often environmental changes. There are degrees of
addictive behavior. Just because a person had an alcoholic parent does not
mean he or she will be an alcoholic. Because alcoholism runs in families
does not mean it's genetic. Alcoholism and drug addiction can be learned
from family members. Often it is passed along in families via emotional
modeling.
People who overcome addictions generally: (1) Learn to accept and feel
their feelings so they can be naturally processed. (2) Develop alternative
rewards that are more meaningful than addiction. (3) Get support from
family, friends, or mutual-support groups. (4) Avoid situations that
provoke relapse. (5) Develop frustration tolerance. (6) Develop
self-acceptance. (7) See addiction's negative consequences. (7) Develop a
lifestyle more rewarding than an addictive lifestyle.
Some of the chief signs of overcoming addictions are: (1) You don't use
the beverage or substance. (2) You accept your feelings and allow them to
process. (3) Your thoughts and conversation are not compulsively focused on
your challenge. (4) You let go of addictive activities that used to make
you feel special. (5) You don't crave the substance. (6) Your social life
has nothing to do with addictions. (7) You don't blame the past for your
current challenges or let downs.
(8) Your emotions are no longer a big deal. (9)You don't view life one day
at a time. (10) You feel like you're growing comfortable with life and
others. (11) You haven't traded your addiction for another negative
addiction. (12) Your relationships with others have improved. (13)You have
hobbies and find your work more satisfying. (14) You have new friends.
(15) You feel better about yourself. (15) Your health has likely improved.
We are responsible for our addictions. We make choices in action. We
move our hands and choose where our feet take us. We are the ones who
choose to be in a place where substances are abused. We choose what we put
in our bodies. And we are the persons who can choose to do something else.
Largely addiction is a compulsive and unconsciously run defense mechanism
to keep us from feeling emotion we might find overwhelming because of our
lack of acceptance. Compulsions can be deflated by learning to accept and
feel the underlying feelings that run them.
I support the notion that compulsions can be overcome through various
methods and emotional skills training. However addiction is generally not a
one-dimensional challenge. More than a compulsion or dire need for
something must be handled.
_____________________________
* Most alcohol and drug addictions require a medical detox.
* Addiction has bodily cues. These cues often serve as triggers for the
compulsive urges you get. Become aware of them and know what they tell you.
Scan your body and find them. These cues may be like the sudden cues
someone gets when they feel a cigarette in their hand and then suddenly get
the urge to drink. These cues are anchors. They are good targets for
clearing. Take the emotional charge out of them.
*Learn everything you can about accepting your feelings and fully feeling.
Mindfulness exercises and meditation is an excellent way to learn these
basics. Here you learn to be with your feelings. Jon Kabot-Zinn has an
excellent mindfulness guide called: "Full Catastrophe Living". Get in the
habit of accepting and feeling your feelings with no thought of getting rid
of them or keeping them. Let your body naturally process or integrate these
feelings.
*You will need to fully commit yourself to staying clean and sober. Start
problem solving how you will pull this off. It's best to practice total
abstinance until your compulsion is gone. This takes as long as it takes.
Drinking and substance use better be a no no for quite some time in the
future.
*Often times people will have an allergy to their beverage and substance of
choice. Seek out someone who can elimanate this allergy because this
elimanation will help undercut some of the physical craving.
* Anxiety and depression are the two most common fuels for addictive
compulsions. Find out everything you can about handling these emotions.
Make them primary to be fully felt and experienced. When anxiety and
depression is accepted and naturally processed, a huge charge comes off your
addiction.
*Stay away from any place where you will abuse. Find alternative places to
go to meet non abusing comrades. This won't be easy at first, but you will
need to do this.
*How do you rate your social skills? If you need touch ups here--see if
there are any social skills trainings going on at area mental health
centers. Gets some books or check around the internet. Learning to relate
well with others is highly valuable. Assertiveness training is almost
ongoing in any major metropolitan area.
*Clear your addictive thinking. These addictive beliefs can be found by
checking our your own thinking. Several addictive thoughts appeared in the
opening paragraphs about addiction. Jack Trimpey's books on Rational
Recovery such as the "Small Book" are excellent resources for lists of
universal addictive beliefs. These are prime targets for the Vortex,
Meridian Grasp, CHP, Core Transformation, Circuit Breaker, and D.I.E. Take
the charge off those beliefs and you can find that very helpful.
*Keep your body's energy system balanced and you'll find less and less
urges. Do the Vortex tapdown or the learn EFT another universal meridian
tapdown. It can be learned for free over at WWW.Emofree.com
*Know your environmental cues and anchors and clear those. Environmental
cues may be everything from a bar front, a friend's face, certain music.
Basically these are anchors with strong associations.
Take the charge off them. You want the clinking of glasses and the smell of
cigarettes to have another meaning. (I know this sounds compulsive, but
you're wanting to raise the probability of getting around life and feeling
okay).
*Check out Rational Recovery groups. They can clue you into addictive
thinking and they have some good skills there to be learned. Such groups
are less intrusive and don't sell you're powerless or diseased.
*If you have a history of trauma you will need to hook up with someone who
knows how to clear trauma. The Emoclear stuff works well with that, but it
can also be cleared with TFT, EFT, TIR,TAT, Persistant Mass Handling, and
Core Transformation. Clearing traumas takes a whole lot weight off your
situation and lessons the need for your unconscious to go compulsive on you.
*Recognize any personality clusters you might have and clear them. They are
listed in targets for tech. Also play with your emptiness or holes.
Letting them become wholes can really be empowering for you.
Learning to sit with your emptiness and pain does wonders with your
frustration tolerance as well.
*Comradarie is a large part of the addictive sphere. You're going to have
to make your friendships elsewhere. This will be a challenge at first.
Start thinking about your new interests and the type of folks involved with
them. Start hanging out with people involved in your new interests. Hey
the internet is cool. It's a start.
*When you're quitting, its wise to start using some supplementation like
multi-vitamins, B vitamins, flaxeed or fish oils etc. Do some reading here.
B vitamins and anti-oxidents can be helpful.
_______________________________________
*Watch out for the HOLIDAYS! These are times when folks start to feel their
compulsions coming on strong. These are lonely and dark times of the year
for some, plus there's lots of parties. Problem solve around that.
*Find some trustworthy and supportive people you can talk with about your
challenges. If they've had similar challenges in life, that can be helpul.
Know that others have made this important passage back into life. They
might have sone insights and skills for you. They can provide valuable
feedeback and assist you through the rocky parts.
Support is really important. You might find such persons at Rational
Recovery groups or even A.A.
*Learn to use the Medulla Unhold (Nambrudripad). This can help with energy
flow reversals and during bouts of early compulsive urges. The Medulla
Unhold can be found described in the D.I.E. process.
*For problem solving, you may want to use the Multi-Solutions Generator on
your addictions problems. It can point you to compulsive free times and how
you created them.
*If you wish to create a vision of health and the good life you may want to
employ the Dreamstate Creator or some of the Avatar creation processes. It
always helps to have a gut installed positive vision or belief system going.
*Learn how to handle low frustration tolerance. Test your limits by
building I can stand it attitudes.
*In even the worst overwhelming situations you have the power to get up and
do what you need to do. This is a terrific power. We don't always have to
be the victims of our feelings and compulsions. Feelings change after a bit
when you are doing something you need to do.
In studies of depressed persons, these folks were most likely to turn the
corner on their depressionw when they got up and did what they needed to do.
Check out the books of David Reynolds on Naikan and Morita Therapy.
There's some simple wisdom there that works. Get up and do what you need to
do. The feelings will change. Feelings need not run us. Feel them and do
what you need to do. It will give you a sense of control and forward
movement.
*Keep your eye open for your self-sabotage. This often comes in the early
stages of change. Find out how you can overcome psychological reversal
through energy work, committment, and feeling your feelings.
* If you have a challenge with shyness, take some skills classes in this
area.
*Good relationships, good health, and satisfying work can be really helpful
when we are in emotional transition. Getting good sleep, eating correctly,
and exercise are a real plus.
*The addictive identity would be a good target for clearing, but don't
expect it to be the whole ball of wax. It's clearing will raise the
probability of desired change for you.
*Giving up substances is much easier when you have positive activities to
replace them. Make a list of new current activities that you can enjoy.
* Think about the long term consequences of your addiction. Does having an
addiction block your long-range goals. Hurt your chances at survival and
good health? Put you in significant conflict with others? Give you the
kinds of emotions you would prefer? Interfere with your perceptions of
reality?
* At the outset of overcoming an addiction you can almost expect some
relapse. Rome was not built in a day. There's much to learn. That you
returned to an addiction does not prove you are a failure or an addict
forever. Not does returning to your addiction prove you need to suffer or
are getting back at others. More likely you are a fallible person who has
learned some unhelpful habits of behaving and emoting.
Behavior and emotional processing can be learned.
*By choosing easy and immediate gratification ahead of long-range
satisfaction, we produce problems for ourselves. List the pros and cons
of easy and immediate gratification. Consider health risks, legal troubles,
expense, craving, hanging out with people lacking few interests outside of
getting high, a bad self-rating, and broken realtionships with family and
friends. Keep a list of disadvantages as a reminder.
*Self-downing can help keep us in an addictive groove. Self-downing helps
create anxiety, depression, and guilt which can put us back on the addictive
treadmill. Accept yourself and notice you have many, many qualities, some
good, some outstanding, and some not so hot.
* Discover the places, pressures, and times when you are most likely to use.
What goes through your mind at these times? List your high-risk
situations. A list might incluse: (1) When bored, pressured, or stressed.
(2) When facing social involvement or about to take a risk. (3) When angry,
anxious, depressed, or guilty. (4) When meeting old friends or returning to
the neighborhood. (5) At a bar, party, or drug house. (6) Work trouble or
getting canned. (7)When alone or breaking off a relationship. (8)In grief.
(9)Becoming involved in a relationship. (10) When daydreaming about any of
the previous 9 examples.
* Watch out for either/or thinking like: "If I don't have total control over
my addiction, I have no control." Think of the times you stopped--they
count.
*Know your strengths.
* Recall those times you handled crummy situations without going compulsive.
What did you do? Can you replicate that?
*Just because we did not overcome our challenges in the past hardly proves
we will repeat the same mistakes in the future. New information, better
support systems, new attitudes, new ways of experiencing our emotions and
processing them, clear and specific goals, and self-acceptance can make a
large difference in overcoming addiction.
*Watch out for the HOLIDAYS! These are times when folks start to feel their
compulsions coming on strong. These are lonely and dark times of the year
for some, plus there's lots of parties. Problem solve around that.
*Find some trustworthy and supportive people you can talk with about your
challenges. If they've had similar challenges in life, that can be helpul.
Know that others have made this important passage back into life. They
might have sone insights and skills for you. They can provide valuable
feedeback and assist you through the rocky parts.
Support is really important. You might find such persons at Rational
Recovery groups or even A.A.
*Learn to use the Medulla Unhold (Nambrudripad). This can help with energy
flow reversals and during bouts of early compulsive urges. The Medulla
Unhold can be found described in the D.I.E. process.
*For problem solving, you may want to use the Multi-Solutions Generator on
your addictions problems. It can point you to compulsive free times and how
you created them.
*If you wish to create a vision of health and the good life you may want to
employ the Dreamstate Creator or some of the Avatar creation processes. It
always helps to have a gut installed positive vision or belief system going.
*Learn how to handle low frustration tolerance. Test your limits by
building I can stand it attitudes.
*In even the worst overwhelming situations you have the power to get up and
do what you need to do. This is a terrific power. We don't always have to
be the victims of our feelings and compulsions. Feelings change after a bit
when you are doing something you need to do.
In studies of depressed persons, these folks were most likely to turn the
corner on their depressionw when they got up and did what they needed to do.
Check out the books of David Reynolds on Naikan and Morita Therapy.
There's some simple wisdom there that works. Get up and do what you need to
do. The feelings will change. Feelings need not run us. Feel them and do
what you need to do. It will give you a sense of control and forward
movement.
*Keep your eye open for your self-sabotage. This often comes in the early
stages of change. Find out how you can overcome psychological reversal
through energy work, committment, and feeling your feelings.
* If you have a challenge with shyness, take some skills classes in this
area.
*Good relationships, good health, and satisfying work can be really helpful
when we are in emotional transition. Getting good sleep, eating correctly,
and exercise are a real plus.
*The addictive identity would be a good target for clearing, but don't
expect it to be the whole ball of wax. It's clearing will raise the
probability of desired change for you.
*Giving up substances is much easier when you have positive activities to
replace them. Make a list of new current activities that you can enjoy.
* Think about the long term consequences of your addiction. Does having an
addiction block your long-range goals. Hurt your chances at survival and
good health? Put you in significant conflict with others? Give you the
kinds of emotions you would prefer? Interfere with your perceptions of
reality?
* At the outset of overcoming an addiction you can almost expect some
relapse. Rome was not built in a day. There's much to learn. That you
returned to an addiction does not prove you are a failure or an addict
forever. Not does returning to your addiction prove you need to suffer or
are getting back at others. More likely you are a fallible person who has
learned some unhelpful habits of behaving and emoting.
Behavior and emotional processing can be learned.
*By choosing easy and immediate gratification ahead of long-range
satisfaction, we produce problems for ourselves. List the pros and cons
of easy and immediate gratification. Consider health risks, legal troubles,
expense, craving, hanging out with people lacking few interests outside of
getting high, a bad self-rating, and broken realtionships with family and
friends. Keep a list of disadvantages as a reminder.
*Self-downing can help keep us in an addictive groove. Self-downing helps
create anxiety, depression, and guilt which can put us back on the addictive
treadmill. Accept yourself and notice you have many, many qualities, some
good, some outstanding, and some not so hot.
* Discover the places, pressures, and times when you are most likely to use.
What goes through your mind at these times? List your high-risk
situations. A list might incluse: (1) When bored, pressured, or stressed.
(2) When facing social involvement or about to take a risk. (3) When angry,
anxious, depressed, or guilty. (4) When meeting old friends or returning to
the neighborhood. (5) At a bar, party, or drug house. (6) Work trouble or
getting canned. (7)When alone or breaking off a relationship. (8)In grief.
(9)Becoming involved in a relationship. (10) When daydreaming about any of
the previous 9 examples.
* Watch out for either/or thinking like: "If I don't have total control over
my addiction, I have no control." Think of the times you stopped--they
count.
*Know your strengths.
* Recall those times you handled crummy situations without going compulsive.
What did you do? Can you replicate that?
*Just because we did not overcome our challenges in the past hardly proves
we will repeat the same mistakes in the future. New information, better
support systems, new attitudes, new ways of experiencing our emotions and
processing them, clear and specific goals, and self-acceptance can make a
large difference in overcoming addiction.
______________________________________
*A good self-help group has the following qualities: (1) Individual
differences in race, religion, culture, and economic background. (2)
Supports personal goals. (3) Accepts member input about approaches, goals,
and rules. (4) Accepts folks coping indiviually with their challenges. (5)
Encourages independence and functioning outside the group. (6) Accepts that
member will leave. (7) Don't claim to have the only way. (8) Don't claim
you are diseased and are totally out-of-control. (9) Don't Strongly knock
other views. (10) Don't brand folks and their behavior with pathological
labels. (11) Don't insist everyone really needs to read their literature
and accept their treatment. (12)Doesn't have a strong fundamentalist zeal
for pushing ideas and programs on others. (13) Don't brand others who fail
to abide by their approach as either insane, unhealthy, or dishonest.
*Fact: Most addicts recover on their own without therapeutic intervention.
Think about--how many addicts or alcoholics do you know who just went cold
turkey on their own? However, support can make quitting easier. Why not up
the probability of a successful journey to positive living by using
supports?
*Keep in mind. Compulsion can be overcome when we begin to fully accept and
feel our feelings so we can naturally process them. If we don't the
unconscious will find something to become compulsive about to deflect us
from our overwhelming and resisted feelings.
*Likely the most available self-help recovery group is AA. This group has
grown and changed over the years. Each meeting has its own individualistic
nature and reflects the personalities of those attending. You may have AA
groups formed out of old timers who had a history with bottle gangs or you
can have groups made up of professionals (lawyers, doctors, teachers etc).
There are many excellent AA groups meeting throughout this country. It pays
to go around and visit several and see which ones are most simpatico with
your own personal style. Some meetings may be a turnoff. Others may have
exactly what you're looking for. In some places AA is the only game in
town. AA has grown with the times. The same philosophies put forward in the
50's and 60's have changed. Bottom line there's many savvey old heads in
those groups that can show you the ropes and be helpful support. You can't
get this sort of support alone. If the first group you check out seems to
fundy or hardcore, then check out another. The ones made up of lawyers,
doctors, teachers tend to be more open minded. In large cities there's many
AA groups to choose from. You'll find one. Rational Recovery is really
helpful too.
Copyright Steve Mensing
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